bitching.

i feel really fucking immature all of the sudden. i don't know. i'm just really frustrated. i need to not get so pissed over things that don't need to be worried over. i can hardly sit still right now, i'm going fucking nuts. what the fuuuuck. i hate overanalyzing things and having it ruin my day. the more i think about something, the sicker it makes me feel. why do i need a million things going to keep me sane? god damnit. i feel like if i turn the tv off that i'm not even paying attention to, that this will only get worse. fucking technological advances that make me use 4 devices at one time. i just want to go to bed or something but it's only 7:15 and that is not a respectable time to go to bed because i'll only wake up with nothing to do in like 8 hours. gaaaah. also. i hate skype. i hate my fucking lameass internet connection in cascade. i hate having to ask what brandon said like 50 million fucking times while i'm talking to him. fucking annoying! thank god i'm not at home. wow am i glad i am not living at home this summer...i don't think i could handle that. i don't even want to think about what i would become of. terrible...just terrible. fucking a. i need to stop cursing or something. really immature. but sometimes i can't help it you know? so i'm sorry if it's annoying. i don't even think anybody reads this so i think i'm good. i wish i lived close to bridget. i really wish my parents didn't have to lie to her about something and make her and paul extremely relieved and then bail on it. really cool, mom and dad. really cool. i feel like a baby or something, whatever. i need to control my emotions better or something, god i thought i was doing really good with that. i was, i am getting better but this just crept up on me and now it sucks a lot. the thing is i can't even begin to explain or even put into words of why i am in this particular mood. it's too much for anybody and i don't want to bore them or sound like a baby so i'll just do my best here.